Dancing with Cinderella

 

For as long as I can remember my weight has always been an issue for me.  Always.  I’d lose it, gain it back, lose it… gain it back and a few more, lose it again… you get the picture… you might even relate.  I had my days when I felt so digusted with myself.  Mornings where I’d cry because I couldn’t fit into anything.  Shopping trips where I’d get depressed because I could not find anything and I refused to go to the size I really needed because it meant going up.  Can you relate?  I bet some of you can. 

I was letting it control me. 

Instead of doing better and trying… I’d go eat instead.  Nice right?!?

It was too hard. 

It wasn’t for me.

I was disgusting.

How can Michael be attracted to me?

I truly felt hopeless.  How was I allowing myself to continue.  Why?  I wasn’t worthy of anything.

I was not grasping the situation the right way.   I was never going to conquer the battle with my plan. 

He woke me up and showed me HIS plan.  A better plan. 

First thing He did for me was… gave me self-confidence.  Helped me see my worth.  Helped me love myself.  Helped me  forgive myself. 

And I did. 

I became realistic. 

Truth is… I am not going to go on this  eating regiment that wasn’t for me… that was setting me up for failure. 

I want to eat ice-cream with Jayda…

I want to enjoy pasta or chinese with Michael…

I want a piece of birthday cake at my family’s birthdays…

What is life without the occassional chocolate chip cookie? 

I just needed to control it.  Not eliminate it… control it.  Because those foods that some say I need to eliminate… well, they’ve helped make some precious memories and you know what?  Those memories were worth every.single.calorie. 

Be realistic with YOU…

Guess what?  I’m not a single-digit size.  I am not a health nut.  I don’t have a flat stomach.  But I have a husband who makes me feel gorgeous, a daughter who adores me and a family who loves me unconditionally… they always did… but I was letting my vision of being a size 6 blind me of it. 

I workout, yes, but it is no longer to try and get a body that I will NEVER get… it is because it makes me feel good.  It gives me energy.  It gives me strength.  It gave me my confidence. 

Find your inner beauty… that is worth more than being a size 6.