How can I describe what being your mommy is like? How can I express the love I have for you and the “wow” that I still feel when I think of how God trusted me with you? Although at times I can picture Him sitting back and cracking up at watching my nonperfect, and never will be, ways of raising you. I can also hear Him saying (with love of course), “you asked Me for her, here she is, have fun!” Hahaha!
What can I say- you are a CHALLENGE! You test my limits to no end. You make me worry like no other. You frustrate me to the max & then some. But, then there is the love. I love you to no end. I love you like no other. I love you to the max & then some.
You are my happy, Jayda.
Through this journey of ours I can only hope and pray that I am fulfilling the job God trusted me to do when He sent you to me. I know I often fail Him, but that is the goodness of His mercy, He is still there as I get back up and look His way. I hope I am showing you His mercy, I hope I am sharing about His love with you enough for you to “get it”. He loves us baby. He loves us more than I love you- and that’s a whole lot!
This year you took Jayda Confidence to a whole new level. And I sat back, with a huge smile on my face and pride in my heart, and just watched you.
We took you on vacation to New York City and wow, it was like you were home! It was so YOU. The city life suits you well. You loved every.single.minute of that trip and that was enough for me to love it too. As we were leaving, with tears in your eyes, you said, “Goodbye New York, I feel like this is the place where dreams come true.” Ah, you are good at the drama. And yes, you do have big dreams and for some reason, I do see you making part of them come true in a place like NYC. You are just that confident.
I watched you in 2nd grade start to face some typical growing up a girl, drama issues. I saw that it was a challenge for you, I saw how the arguments hurt you, I saw how the broken friendships affected you, don’t ever for a minute think that I didn’t see it all baby, but I needed to do my best to remain sitting back. Then I heard the “we are friends again mom, we apologized.”
And, don’t think I didn’t see the drama where you weren’t so innocent either ;-). Drama where I quickly needed to remind you about the moments when you felt hurt when it was done to you… I saw that too.
Your Jayda confidence brought out your unique fashion styles even more this past year. I admit, I do cringe at some of the outfit choices you make… but with all that is in me… I let it go and let you be you (it is just so hard for me at times). It is slowwwwly getting a tad easier… just a tad. Hopefully by the time you are 30 I will just be blind enough to be 100% ok with it ;-).
Ahhh my baby… we are just getting started, the teen years are going to be so much fun, fun, fun (I will talk to you about sarcasm soon, although you are pretty good at it already). I am sure God has His popcorn ready to go. He’ll be watching us with this grin on His face and an occasional LOL. I am also sure He will step in at the perfect moments and His grace, His grace will always be right there.
This year I watched you make big decisions and make changes where you felt you needed to- all on your own. I know YOU didn’t realize the meaning of those decisions at the time, but they were big baby.
This year I also watched you go up on stage and sing in front of the entire school with big Jayda confidence and you did so well. I love that about you. You never hesitated for one moment and you just did it. Keep that baby. Don’t ever let anyone tame that confidence (if I have to deal with it, the world does too ;-)).
You were given that Jayda confidence for something big baby. Bigger than we can imagine right now- but all for His glory. Don’t ever lose sight of that. Whether you become a pop star, rock star (apparently they are different by what you’ve told me), movie star, doctor- star, because no matter what you become- you are determined it will be in star fashion- and, oh I believe it, do it all for His glory.
I can’t help to think about your future, I pray that you make the right choices, I pray that when you don’t make the right choices (because it will happen baby girl, oh, it will happen) that your faith will be big enough to get you right back up and moving forward. I pray that you choose people in your life that will help you get back up, a husband that will treat you like his queen (you made us do it- why not keep it going), I pray that you clearly see how daddy treats me and you expect no less from the man you share your life with.
Live the life of your dreams sweet girl, live it with that feisty Jayda confidence you are living with now… just always, always- live it for Him… And always remember…
Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You’re the one He madly loves…
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
Love always, the ever so proud,
Click for Previous Birthday Letter to Jayda!